(Episode 23) LOVE AFFAIRS ¦ A novel of the OmidanWURA_files By Segun Alonge Jr

The attitude I had towards guys still remained when I entered college. But amidst the so many ‘Magas’, David distinguished himself.

He made it clear from the start that he was for real and I was for keep. He constantly reveals the queen in me. A part of me would want to release myself into him but another part would refrain.

He was persistent for over two years until I finally agreed to give him a chance. Time soon proved him to be who he really claimed to be; but he was overtly jealous and I soon began to be irritated.

He insisted that if he must have me, he must have all of me. I was not permitted to see any other guy let alone keep their photos on my phone. I dare not use a friend’s photograph as DP on social media platforms – not even on their birthdays.

I loved him and I really do but at least, there was no ring on my finger yet – and even if there was, that should not prevent me from making and keeping male friends.

It wasn’t funny on a particular day while we were walking down my college hall way and I decided to exchange some pleasantries with a male friend I had long seen – it was only a brief hug, the next reaction I got from my soon-to-be husband was a sharp pull from the rear with a tensed look on his face.

I was really embarrassed. This is getting out of hand, I concluded. Jealousy had been topped with insecurity. Whenever I talked about it, his response was often that he loves me so much that he can’t afford to share me with another. I never doubted his love – but I needed some freedom as well.

At a point, he ordered me to cut all connections with Lanre – which would be to me the height of his excesses. I explained the role Lanre had played in my life and he said I might have to choose between both of them.

I wasn’t ready for his games. They both filled different vacuums in my world – I could not part with one at the expense of the other but if worse come to worse, I knew I was going to be content with Lanre. He was not just a friend – he had grown to becoming a blood brother.

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David always meant what he says. He never says what he really doesn’t mean. I discussed the issue with Lanre and his first question bothered on David’s spiritual alignment.

David was just the normal, cool church and easy going guy. He is not really that into spiritual activities and all. It was then Lanre sat me down and gave me a two-hour session on purpose discovery and it’s significance to marriage.

With all his queries and my responses, it was obvious that a marriage to David would only be endured and not enjoyed. The issue then was now how to break up with him and still maintain friendship. It was really a hard thing to do.

David was not the guy that would let go easily. He stuck so close as hard as he could. I started ignoring him, his calls, and his messages. The situation was clearly opposite to my past relationships with guys. I had used to be the rejected party but in this case, I was right in the driver’s seat and believe me, it felt great.

He would visit on several occasions apologizing for the wrongs he does not even know about – like some Christians pray about forgiveness of sins they don’t even know. Prayers I had long considered as dumb and futile. How would you wake up early in the morning and approach your father, kneeling before him, asking him to forgive you of sins you don’t know? I find that really absurd.

My response to him was always that we are not just meant for each other. But I always affirm my love and care for him. I wanted a break up without falling apart.

Space! He yelped. I will give you all the space you need – just tell me we are still getting married.

I could decide to just play along and enjoy his care, gifts, time and energy but I had loved him so much that I could not stand placing him on uncertain grounds. I really wished he could see things through my eyes, but he insisted and my mind was made up too.

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