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Adesua notified me of her wedding plans. I decided to give her a surprise package. I attended in company of ministry team members, in a sophisticated convoy – all dressed up like the groom with a reasonable gift in the truck. And….. THE END ‘No sir! Please go on. Omidan Wura and her protégés chorused all at once.’ Epilogue (ELDER ADEYINKA walks in) ‘See how I caught your rapt attention for hours. Alright, let me go on.’ ‘Yeah…thanks sir,’ they replied “AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER” (Turning to the Elder Marriage man himself) ‘I believe Dad has something to share. Please go ahead sir’ ‘Indeed, Aderopo. But I would do that briefly so they can go for dinner.’ This goes to the young men. When a lady allows you to empty yourself into her, she’s doing you no favour at all. I have met ignorant and simple men counting the number of ladies they have “conquered”. As a matter of fact, some of them even brag about it. They would talk among their friends and say, ‘Do you see that

"Please, stop calling me, Ayomi. I don’t want you calling me by that name anymore. My name is Olajumoke," She said. ‘Why? What does it do to you?’ ‘Forget about what it does to me. But not calling me by that actually makes me feel better.’ ‘But you said ‘AyoAde’ still exists’ ‘I Said!' ‘Oh! Not again?’ ‘I guess’ I see! My one and only sweetheart! Ayomi is like the air I breathe. It’s too late ‘Then I would be forced to do what I don’t want to do.’ Anything my dear! ‘Block me on social media, delete my contact. Or better still…. Assassinate me’ ‘I already opted out of this relationship a long time ago because I wasn’t sure of what I wanted. And now, I’m sure’ ‘Is that what you did not want to do?’ ‘It is what I’ve done already. Just reminding you in case you have forgotten’ ‘So…. What more? Ayomi… What more?’ ‘I’M OUT!’ ‘But at least a relationship is between two people. It might be temporal with you but it is eternal with me. I’M IN!’ ‘Maybe you think I’m

I resolved to work on reconciling her to Olaide. The broken friendship between them had now grown into over a year old. Soon, my efforts were becoming productive. "Aderopo, I was with your ‘boo’ all through last weekend," Olaide submitted. "Wow! That’s great. I’m sure she is doing well too?" "Yes." "What did she tell you about 'us'?" "From what she said, she is single." I see! Good for her! She can keep deceiving herself until eternity. My love affair with her is timeless. The bond we share is like eternal life…. Once saved, forever saved – save for unbelief, which is in itself referred to as evil. ‘Ade! Come on… are you still in the relationship or out also?’ ‘I am in for life - even if she marries someone else. I would tell her husband he is only wasting his time. It’s too late to back out. I burnt the bridge for retreat already.’ ‘But she totally confirmed that she’s out?’ ‘Fine - I totally confirm that I’m in too.

Ayomi, I’m sorry for everything or anything I did wrong. All I wanted was to be your best friend… at the happy times and the not so good times. I wanted a friendship based relationship….even when there would be no reason to love. I enjoy playing with you. I enjoy being me. Loved running around laughing hard with you. I craved a home like that. It made me go so much into you. I’m not the official hubby type "Okay…. I loved all that too and I wanted us to be like that forever" "So, I see no reason why you should be scared." "I was scared because I didn’t want a home like some I’m seeing around me" "And you perceived that coming?" "Not really. But your focusing too much on career scared me. You were always reading mostly motivational books" "Oh…. My dear, apart from kingdom service, all else I do is to provide for my family. And you knew that from the start, don’t you?" "I'm still scared but I don’t know how to

I assumed our relationship was back on track. So, I decided to keep the communication river flowing freely . "A part of me wants to share thoughts! Getting tougher…. I really do not enjoy all these. Are you still in the dark?" I asked ‘You are free to share’ "No! I’m not. You don’t want me to." ‘I do…’ ‘OK. Then tell me what happened’ ‘I got scared’ ‘Of me?’ ‘Not really. I don’t want to get married to a life coach or motivational speaker. I want someone who the paramount thing to is the gospel. I don’t want to be like some couples I know.’ "But you have known this all along. I hid nothing from you from the start. I was completely open" She had made the same statement when David’s plea for a comeback was getting really hard on her. But my case was clearly distinct. She did affirm that I was God’s perfect gift for her. She arranged a meeting between David and me – which finally put a stop to his constant disturbance. ‘Maybe I knew but I didn’t pay

— (After few days, I reopened the conversation) ‘Hello dear. Good afternoon.’ I opened up a conversation. ‘Good afternoon’ ‘Um… I’m keeping so much to myself. Not happy about that.’ ‘Why?’ She asked ‘She deserted me. I don’t know if I know her again.’ ‘Okay. So, what are you going to do about her?’ ‘Marry her!’ I affirmed. ‘What if she does not want to?’ ‘She might also want to explain “why not”,’ I followed up. ‘Maybe she’s having a second thought about marriage itself’ ‘The seminary is opened then. It would make the story more interesting’. ‘She is not interested in going to the seminary’ ‘Then… there’s a mix up. Who doesn’t know the “why” for existence? Identity crisis, I perceive.’ ‘It is not a matter of knowing the “why” for existence, she said ‘So, it’s a matter of….?’ I asked ‘Not knowing the “why” for wanting to get married. She probably got confused along the line?’ ‘Maybe she does not want sex - because she is engaged already.’ Just trying to help out ‘That

Ayomi, please! What do you want me to do? Anything! ‘When I know what I want, I would let you know. At the moment, I don’t know what I want’. ‘But dear, I am disturbed.’ Mum would sure ask after you when I finally go back home ….. I’ve delayed the discussion until now. We are not communicating… that’s not ideal for a union. It’s creating a gap I don’t want to fill with anyone or anything. Can you please respond? ‘Ok’ Just that! ‘I am responding’ ‘What is it about the break you have always longed for,’ I pressed further ‘I don’t know what to say really’ ‘Is that from your heart?’ ‘I don’t know. I can’t seem to figure it out’. Ayomi, after a year together! We ought to enjoy mutual love and happiness. Agreed… I offended you by not seeing you off to the park. But you didn’t inform me either. ‘OK’ ‘Please talk to me’ ‘Really, I don’t have anything to say until I know what I want. And right now, I am confused. So, it’s best I don’t say anything.’ ‘Confused? About me?’ ‘I am co

The communication gap was not faring well on my part at all – coupled with the fact that we were no longer at the same location. Communication was mainly via chats and I hated dry chats….I hated to ask an open ended question and the response would just be a smiley I cannot even decode at times. — "Someone told me he is missing you but there is nothing he could do about it. I advised him to divert his thoughts because the ‘you’ he is missing does not even care anymore", I was referring to myself. ‘Okay,’ she responded. Not again! I deride such responses. When I couldn’t bear it any longer, I decided to make my intentions known. "I might withdraw for some time," dear. ‘I hate being snubbed, it rouses my ego. I would always love you.’ Do channel your passion into acquiring as much skills as you can. Practice!! Practice! Practice! That’s the key. She had applied at a crafts school far away from home. A decision she exclusively made although I was not averse to i

The exams were over but we were both still in school awaiting project defense. Hers came before mine. Another outreach organized by Opeyemi Daniels was now around the corner. It was certain that I won’t be able to go with her again as my research work was still underway – let alone defending it. The program was scheduled to hold from Thursday all through to Sunday. So, I promised to join them latest by Friday evening or at most, Saturday morning. My project supervisor fixed a meeting for Saturday morning. I could not complain because she was coming to school for no other reason than to support me in speeding up my write up. We were together in school all day. I got a message across to Ayomi to explain the situation at hand and her response was, ‘I knew you would not come’. That met me on a sad note. I wondered why she won’t see things from my perspective. She had successfully completed what I was still battling with. I soon got that off my mind. ***** Things never remained the sa

Baby ‘ AyoAde ’ has now grown into a year old. We planned marking the day with a day long outing together. We ordered custom shirts and shoes. Everything went as planned. The day was really enjoyed. I reaffirmed my love for her and she reciprocated. She apologized for disregarding my view on allowing Lanre stay over at her place for days. Final exams soon set in and the atmosphere was coated by ‘seriousness’ over again. You would hardly see someone not holding a material – lecture note, jotter, or past questions. There were students who are known for just reading past questions. They cram the answers and just go into the exam hall. Surprisingly, the smart players often come out in flying colours. It is a common occurrence for lecturers to repeat question – although it works chiefly for multiple-choice based exams. The only times I retort to that option are when I had not prepared at all for a test. But when I am, I only pick up past questions to test my knowledge. While I was a fr

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Lanre came on a 3-day visit. She informed me of his arrival and I promised checking on them later in the evening. School work had a toll on me. Final exams were around the corner and project work was still lagging behind. I got back home very late and exhausted – too tired to even make dinner. So, I decided to go over to Ayomi’s place after informing her I would be coming for dinner. It was around those times when students had run out of foodstuff and cash. A very close housemate pleaded to accompany - as there was no hope for his dinner in sight. I agreed – even though it would take sharing my own plate with him. Dinner was served and we did fill our stomachs. I expected Lanre to just follow us back home to spend the night but I noticed he was relaxed and at home on Ayomi’s bed. It didn’t bother me much – save for my housemate’s comments about his presence and staying over at her place. His comments really drew my attention to details. I was not insinuating an unwholesome act be

I took the weekend off school environment to cool off. I traveled to my aunt's place for the weekend. I felt as though I have much love to pour on someone but the recipient was pushing me off. So, I decided to find some other people to pour it on. And my final conclusion would be on my little cousins. I played hard with them as though we were age mates. Little did they know that they were carrying out emotional dialysis within me. I couldn't push thoughts about her completely from my heart but at least, I had good company who were open to receive my care and affection. I extended my stay with my aunt by some few days to really regain my stability. After about a week, I travelled back to school agile and full of life. It was as though my time off inoculated me with an emotional shock absorber. I regarded less her response during our conversations. I resolved that if she had decided to close up, I am now equal to the task too. The relationship went on like that for weeks - b

She came back from a 3-day trip with her mentor on a ministerial assignment. She had invited me to come along but busy schedules would not let me. I deliberately reduced our level of communication via chats so as to make her focus on the assignment she went on. It was a different ball game when she came back. I noticed our conversations were dry and brief. I drew her attention to it; requesting to know what the matter was. Nothing! ‘I am good,’ she responded. I knew something was wrong. She wasn't happy when I told her I won't be free to go on the trip with her but she never complained. So, I assumed she reasoned with me. ‘Don't tell me there is nothing. Your reaction had changed since you came back,’ I pressed ‘I guess it's just mood swings,’ she submitted ‘Mood swings again?’ I have learnt from past experiences that whenever she used that statement, the reality was that she has something in mind that she does not want to share. So I pressed really harder. ‘I t

Wow! I'm sure that was inspired by a true life story. You spoke those words straight from the heart. ‘You are right on track,’ Sir. She was a friend. I would keep the details for now - to be shared at one of my mentorship classes. ‘That's alright.’ Some lines indeed caught my attention but I would focus on the last three lines of the final septet. As our relationship grew, I resolved not to allow her play the 'wifey' role. Whenever she comes over to my place, I ensure I made the meals except on some very rare occasions and I do the same too when I visit her. I simply acted the guest. I never for once doubted our eventual living together as couples but I patiently waited for the time to come. I guarded her self-worth jealously. I strongly disputed of treating a woman - even one's wife - like an ordinary house help. I think Dad rightly displayed that virtue and I imbibed it. More reason why I get irritated whenever Ayomi says, 'You haven't yet placed a r