smaj publishing house

Be sure you are not a mere alternative or just one to while away time with. Commitment does not begin after marriage. If it is not evident now, it won't after marriage. Genuine love is not just one at a time but one for life. True love would pass the test of singularity.

Love is not self-centred. The goal should be to give all of you to the other person. Be opened to receive love. When you constantly think about the possibility of heartbreak, you cheat yourself of the happiness and peace of mind NOW. The one who intends to take advantage of you would fail the love tests. It won't be long before you see the true colours. The lifelong journey ahead requires an agreement on vital issues of life from the outset. Don't ignore the warning signs in the name of love. That's stupidity! Strictly from SMAJ archive

The times spent together should not always be for food and movies. There are so much that should be known. Love longs to know so much about the other person: dreams, desires, hopes, family and interests. Who are the friends you met him/her with? Do not ignore them. They have played and might continue to play a huge role in decision-making processes. You cannot know too much. Show deep interest. It's not too early to begin to support and help birth or/and expand visions and aspirations.  Strictly from SMAJ archive

Any relationship that would last,  would require quality time investment. Time would prove the genuineness of the acclaimed love. Don't be afraid to subject your relationship to the test of time. When pressure begins to set in, irrational decisions are not far-fetched.  Attractiveness is not enough to validate love. You can be attracted to several persons in a day. Be real with yourself first.  Look out for the beauty within.  Grow together! You would find out if you can love and tolerate each other. If not, do the needful immediately.  Not all quality relationships lead to marriage. You can be friends forever. The married life requires a higher level of commitment and tolerance. I have seen good friends who cannot live together for an extended period of time.  Strictly from smaj's archive

Ayomi, I’m sorry for everything or anything I did wrong. All I wanted was to be your best friend… at the happy times and the not so good times. I wanted a friendship based relationship….even when there would be no reason to love. I enjoy playing with you. I enjoy being me. Loved running around laughing hard with you. I craved a home like that. It made me go so much into you. I’m not the official hubby type "Okay…. I loved all that too and I wanted us to be like that forever" "So, I see no reason why you should be scared." "I was scared because I didn’t want a home like some I’m seeing around me" "And you perceived that coming?" "Not really. But your focusing too much on career scared me. You were always reading mostly motivational books" "Oh…. My dear, apart from kingdom service, all else I do is to provide for my family. And you knew that from the start, don’t you?" "I'm still scared but I don’t know how to ...

Lanre came on a 3-day visit. She informed me of his arrival and I promised checking on them later in the evening. School work had a toll on me. Final exams were around the corner and project work was still lagging behind. I got back home very late and exhausted – too tired to even make dinner. So, I decided to go over to Ayomi’s place after informing her I would be coming for dinner. It was around those times when students had run out of foodstuff and cash. A very close housemate pleaded to accompany - as there was no hope for his dinner in sight. I agreed – even though it would take sharing my own plate with him. Dinner was served and we did fill our stomachs. I expected Lanre to just follow us back home to spend the night but I noticed he was relaxed and at home on Ayomi’s bed. It didn’t bother me much – save for my housemate’s comments about his presence and staying over at her place. His comments really drew my attention to details. I ...

Wow! I'm sure that was inspired by a true life story. You spoke those words straight from the heart. ‘You are right on track,’ Sir. She was a friend. I would keep the details for now - to be shared at one of my mentorship classes. ‘That's alright.’ Some lines indeed caught my attention but I would focus on the last three lines of the final septet. As our relationship grew, I resolved not to allow her play the 'wifey' role. Whenever she comes over to my place, I ensure I made the meals except on some very rare occasions and I do the same too when I visit her. I simply acted the guest. I never for once doubted our eventual living together as couples but I patiently waited for the time to come. I guarded her self-worth jealously. I strongly disputed of treating a woman - even one's wife - like an ordinary house help. I think Dad rightly displayed that virtue and I imbibed it. More reason why I get irritated whenever Ayomi says, 'You haven't yet placed a r...

Ayomi, why not just talk to Olaide about her relocation once and for all?’ ‘I can’t. I don’t want it to appear like I chased her out of my apartment.’ ‘But that’s what your actions say now,’ dear ‘Ademi, I can’t. I would not mind if you can help.’ ‘Help you order her out of your room?’ That’s impossible. Come to think of it, has she offended you in anyway? No! Not at all! I just need some privacy. I also noticed that I have not been growing up spiritually lately. All we do together is chat about irrelevant matters. Spiritual growth! How do you measure that? You guys had been together for years now and here you are talking about not growing up spiritually because of her presence. Sure! We’ve been friends but we have not been living together – except for frequent visits to each other’s hostels and joint preparation for exams. ‘So, what makes the difference?’ ‘Th...

I had plans to pay him a courtesy visit soon. It’s all over now. Plans are shattered. I carefully considered the hyphen – very short dash – separating the two years of his earthly existence. I thought to myself, that short dash is all we have; to remember him now. He can no longer do more or less. He can no longer write more books, sing more songs, preach more sermons, deliver more seminars – it’s all over. Prior to that time, the short dash had been carefully placed there after the year of his birth – but things have changed now. Another year had appeared after it – denoting a closure. I would sit on the pavement, get up, walk around the compound, lean on the wall, look up, think back, think ahead and the question that stood right in front of me, staring into my eyes was, ‘but why’? Why would he have to go so suddenly? We still very much need his input around here. A day that ought to be filled with fun, prospective thoughts a...

. . Soon, they got really close and Opeyemi became to her many personalities – a friend, a brother, a mentor, and a father. When she told me about it, I was excited that she had found someone she can be accountable to. It was later I got to know that Opeyemi as well contributed to her final acceptance of my proposal – I had scored high on his tests too - although we never spoke at any time until after she accepted my proposal. Since I had made up my mind to be a friend to all her friends – as much as I can – I connected with him as well. We talked occasionally – our discussions circling around ministry most of the times. He had a good job, hence, the money. He never hesitated to get her a gift if he finds it was something she really needed. Not long after then, Ayomi became sold out into his ministerial outreaches. She became more like his personal assistant. I never really bothered because I now had the assurance that come what may, she is mine. T...

. . The rehearsals were over and I asked her out on a date. She obliged and we both agreed to visiting an in town resort centre. Anyone seeing both of us together would never doubt that we were love birds. The bright smile on her face always greeted my manly approval of her. Her eyeballs glowed with passion and love. Although I still await her response, I knew I got her already. I was already cooking up the perfect pet name for her. My long ultimate search found the hidden treasure when I asked her about her other names. 'Why do you want to know?' She queried, with a facial expression that communicated, ' I would really be glad to let you know'. It was the feminine style of saying, 'I want you to press harder so I could feel more special before I tell you'. ‘Please.....for friendship sake,’ I pressed. I was content with the first name on the list of four other names. Before then, I never knew she answered to Ayoade. She would later tell me that she stop...

The industrial training exercise was now few days from winding up. It was more of work affairs and less of love affair - as logbooks won't fill themselves automatically. But on my part, it wasn't a big issue. All the supervisor wants to read are well articulated words, spiced up with fascinating delivery, all of which I was naturally good at and even much more. It only took me some hours - what some of my colleagues did for days - to complete the whole thing - although I had started initially and paused along the way. It was then that I realized I had paused immediately I made the proposal to Jumoke (although I kept a daily record of practical experiences garnered in a notebook). Things you do for love, some would say - but that was a deficiency on my part as I could not manage both well. 'Mere stupidity', I said as I laughed at myself. I had always opined that no lady can ever get so much into my head and I would misbehave. The reality of not standing by my resolut...

I returned to the location that Sunday afternoon after taking the weekend off to refill my empty storeroom with foodstuff. There was Lanre right in our Lodge. He had come visiting shortly after I left on Friday. By now, my suspicion of few strings attachment between Jumoke and Stanley was becoming true. I noticed that whenever both of us are together, Jumoke does not feel free talking to me. At times she would turn off completely and when I queried, her response would be, it's none about you. At a juncture, I came out clean asking if I had offended her in anyway and she claimed she would have told me before I asked if anything went wrong between us. I couldn't keep my cool as I felt our friendship was being affected. She would often shrink back into silence at conversations that formerly made her laugh out loud. ‘It's a mere mood swing,’ she insisted. The swings had persisted for weeks and it's now becoming a month. Lanre's presence changed the atmosphere. I w...

Stanley's Birthday was around the corner but no party in view. He was now often seen with Jumoke than me - a new development I gladly embraced. They began what appear to me as a journey to spiritual growth together. They played together, studied the Bible together and all other in-between. I had initially wanted to take that up with Jumoke but I refrained. I didn't want to cloud her vision or influence her choice of eventually accepting my proposal. They spent evenings together and when Stanley would retire for guy's gist in the evening; nothing would be said about how the day was spent with regards to her. He hardly even mentions her now during our conversations. My instinct was a little bit suspicious initially but I silenced it's suggestions. I was sure that what I now know about her within some months, Stanley can never have known even though they had been friends from campus. I sat on that vantage point as a leverage over any other suitor. They both embarked ...

. At a juncture, I tried holding back the words that coalesced to form my only question. But I could not. So, dear, which of the former stories do you want me to believe and which ones should I debunk? I asked ‘I have poured all out, Ade. It’s left to you to sift’ I decided to pick only the fact that her dad was late and resting all others on ‘ as you see, believe’ ---- Her actions say, yes, but she won’t let out the words. I resolved to schedule a perfect time to pose the proposal afresh. I have heard female friends attest to the fact that accepting a marriage relationship proposal after a long while might be just as difficult as making the proposal in the first place. Banking on this experience, I waited for any available opportunity to do so. Some days later, Adeyinka came visiting with foodstuff and other necessities. She introduced him to me – although I have heard a lot about him but we haven’t seen each other facially. He w...

The attitude I had towards guys still remained when I entered college. But amidst the so many ‘ Magas ’, David distinguished himself. He made it clear from the start that he was for real and I was for keep. He constantly reveals the queen in me. A part of me would want to release myself into him but another part would refrain. He was persistent for over two years until I finally agreed to give him a chance. Time soon proved him to be who he really claimed to be; but he was overtly jealous and I soon began to be irritated. He insisted that if he must have me, he must have all of me. I was not permitted to see any other guy let alone keep their photos on my phone. I dare not use a friend’s photograph as DP on social media platforms – not even on their birthdays. I loved him and I really do but at least, there was no ring on my finger yet – and even if there was, that should not prevent me from making and keeping male friends. It wasn’t funny on a p...

Femi came right on time! He was friendly. He provided a shoulder to lean on and before I knew what was happening, I had already fallen in love with him. He was a working class man with a reasonable take home every month. He showered me often with gifts and affirmed that he was ready for marriage. He promised marriage won't affect my academics and he would be responsible for its continuation. I trusted him to the call but kept something back from him - a visit to my house. I was hunted by past encounters. Sade, a female friend of about a year had earlier called off our friendship when she visited me. She had claimed I was not in her class. I was ashamed of myself and vowed since then not to allow even female friends visit me except those I had known from childhood. It wasn't long before I found out that Sade was Femi's ex. I was just checking through photos on his phone that fateful day when I came across Sade's pictures. Not one, not two. And the poses in the pictu...

I had never expected your visit to be that soon although I knew it was imminent. She began as she started to narrate what seem to me like the complete dosage of apologetics. You would be the very first suitor to visit me - as a matter of fact, the first guy. I was lucky mum was not around when you came, I could have been faced with endless questions about your identity. The only male friend she knows with me is Lanre. I met Lanre years ago at where I would call a crossroad in my life. He was indeed God sent - perhaps I would have been long forgotten now if not that our paths crossed. I almost ended my life out of frustration arising from rejection. He stood by me all through. I have long regarded him as the elder brother I never had and he had never failed at proving his worth. I could say, he is an adopted member of my family. Going through several heartbreaks from both males and females alike had pushed me into hiding my real identity. My first ever romantic relationship began...

We all left the location to secure our voter's card. Since I already had mine in my possession, the period was just a time to visit friends and family. I decided to spend the days at an aunt's place - the same city Olajumoke resides - but that would entirely be without her prior notice. While flipping throw her photo album back at the location, I had seen a familiar face whom she introduced as having known since childhood. Adesua had been a close friend on campus - hardly would a day go by and we won't exchange pleasantries either on social media or physically on campus. I had discussed my seeing her in Olajumoke's album with her and she affirmed they grew up together in the same Church only that they had never been very close. I could give Jumoke a surprise visit, the thoughts ran through my mind. And since I now had a good contact, I do not need her to give me her house description. Adesua already knew we were fond of each other but she had never posed a direc...

The presidential election was now very well underway. It was only few months away. All media platforms had been loaded with flyers and bills for electioneering campaign. Our Vice Chancellor, a politically inclined man himself, had announced a two-day lecture free period to enable all eligible students obtain their voter's cards. The news reached us at our location - thanks to social media networks - information now travel very fast. I recall an instance some years back when I had to use the postal service to deliver a notification of my homecoming in few weeks time. I was shocked to receive the letter myself after few days into my arrival at home. The system was that sluggish. But things have changed now - news travel within the twinkle of an eye. We approached the HR head and after much pressing, he obliged to our two days break. The break would be prolonged by the weekend - so, work would only continue the next Monday. Although there were over thirty registered parties accor...