(Episode 50) LOVE AFFAIRS | A novel of the OmidanWURA_files By Segun Alonge Jr

Adesua notified me of her wedding plans. I decided to give her a surprise package. I attended in company of ministry team members, in a sophisticated convoy – all dressed up like the groom with a reasonable gift in the truck.

And…..
THE END

‘No sir! Please go on. Omidan Wura and her protégés chorused all at once.’

Epilogue
(ELDER ADEYINKA walks in)
‘See how I caught your rapt attention for hours. Alright, let me go on.’

‘Yeah…thanks sir,’ they replied

“AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER”

(Turning to the Elder Marriage man himself)
‘I believe Dad has something to share. Please go ahead sir’

‘Indeed, Aderopo. But I would do that briefly so they can go for dinner.’

This goes to the young men. When a lady allows you to empty yourself into her, she’s doing you no favour at all. I have met ignorant and simple men counting the number of ladies they have “conquered”.

As a matter of fact, some of them even brag about it. They would talk among their friends and say, ‘Do you see that lady? I have gone through her – and so many other pungent statements. You see, she is loose, I can get her anytime – and they brag about it.

Is that really victory? Real men are known on the field not on the bed. Real men are known at difficult times not at times of pleasure. Victory at pulling down so many virtues is not victory at all. They often forget that they are giving out. They are releasing seeds into vessels that have the good ground to nurture and replenish.
Virtue is being released as often as they make such encounters.

A woman is naturally designed to multiply whatever you deposit in her. A man is wired to be a giver and a woman a receiver. Reason why when I see ladies that clamour to be self-reliant – some even of the opinion that they do not need husbands anymore – they just want a baby out of wedlock and care for their baby – I tell them to rethink.

There exist a very thin line between that mentality and a total abuse of the eternal purpose of God. If a woman gets to the point where she feels she’s all in all, it is also dangerous.

As much as I would advise you (daughters) to get something (industrious) to do with your head and your hands, I would also like you to be opened to receive love, affection and care. Don’t push yourself so much into becoming the man.

Men are wired differently. The differences do not necessitate nurturing a competitive spirit. Both sexes are unique the way they are. Men are wired to be natural givers. There’s nothing psychology or technological advancement can do about it. A woman would remain a woman and a man would be a man.

People have tried to mix the sexes together so much that we have marriages today between same sexes.
When a woman allows you to empty yourself into her, you need to weep and wail for your great loss – for you are being reduced. I hope you would take this message to friends and discuss it in detail.
Men need to come to the knowledge of their position in the entire creation plan. When a man understands his position, there are things he won’t fall for. As Myles Munroe would say, ‘A man that cannot see the ultimate will fall for the immediate. There is need for the nurturing of young men who would have this mind - men to whom young maidens can be trusted into their care without fear of being abused.

Your broad muscular build up is not meant to be used to abuse a woman, it was designed to protect, care, and handle well. I see that coming on stage again from your generation. So much dignity has been lost with the passing years that if care is not taken, in few years to come, our streets would no longer be safe for daughters to thread on freely without being molested.

Secondly, broken relationships would increase your basis for comparison - hungers which might not be satisfied, and thirsts which might never be quenched.

I have heard about marriages where the husband will tell the wife she does not satisfy him sexually and vice versa. But the truth is, if they had followed the divine pattern, this would not have played out at all.

I say this to you, young men and maidens – if there is a pool you need not taste before you are eligible to drink from, it is sex outside a binding engagement called marriage.

God originally designed that the man will ‘know’ first his wife and the woman her husband. Even if any of them have been exposed to several teachings and information (called sex education), it is still at the theoretical level. When marriage comes into the picture, the practical begin to play out. You need not fear being naïve at the first night together. As a matter of fact, such naivety to me is a great virtue of a worthwhile price.

If the couple is prepared for one another, the case of not being satisfied sexually would not play out because both of them are just venturing into a new territory and exploring new grounds by the day – so much that the knowledge they have acquired, now blended with practicality would help build the bonds between both of them.

I believe God never made a mistake when he instituted marriage and says every man for his wife and every woman for her husband.

Broken relationships will only increase your basis for comparison. When you have gone into a couple of marriage relationships before marriage, you tend to compare mates, having being exposed to different levels of care, attention and affection from past relationships. A man/woman would often complain about not being satisfied sexually because s/he has basis to compare – either from knowledge gathered (which most times are false) or from previous encounters.

You are doing yourself a favour when you follow the instructions of the designer of marriage, when you do not approach marriage relationship when you know you are ready to stay committed to a mate, and then you are yet not ripe for a marriage relationship.

The hungers you are exposing yourself to can never be satisfied. If you doubt that, ask those who are sold out into it. Stay within the confines of marriage to enjoy the physical union and enjoy the bliss that God has instituted for you and your partner.

In marriage, there is communion, intimacy, fellowship between you and your mate. Just the same way you can learn new recipes together, you can learn about what each other enjoy sexually as well. Even right there in marriage, you need self-control.

I hear young men and maidens say self-control is only needed before marriage. If that holds true, there would be no case of adultery – in fact, there would be nothing called adultery for we won’t even need to coin the word in the first place. Your spouse would not always be with you to enjoy sex. There would be times when engagements would make you be apart for a while but that won’t give rise to sexual promiscuity.

Understand that you are not made for sex, sex was made for you. I get so sad when a lady is seen as a mere sex object. The self-control that made you abstain from sex before marriage is also needed to stick to your spouse during marriage.

There are married people who still go in search for extramarital affairs. It's only a clear pointer to the fact that they lack the virtue called self-control. You stay committed to the choice you have made. Marriage is first a choice before it becomes a responsibility. You must stay committed to it because you have made the choice.

Lastly, before I allow you to go for you dinner – when you show me a man who can rule over his sexual appetite, I would show you a stable man. One of the potent ways to know if a man is emotionally stable is how he can manage (not destroy) his sexual appetite. If you are in a marriage relationship – not yet formally joined – and your spouse cannot rule over his/her sexual appetite, be wary of that relationship. Don’t listen when s/he says it would be conquered after marriage. No! Never agree to that. The reason why we have cases of adultery is because we have men/women with no rule over their body.

If sexual appetite would be viewed as food, then definitely, you can’t eat a poisoned food. A poisoned food is any food injurious to your health. It might not be for some other persons but it is for you. You don’t live for some other person. You live for the kingdom.

You can live above your sexual urge. But note as I have earlier said, that living above your sexual urge does not mean you zero out emotions and affections. It is needed in marriage and life. You are emotionally stable when you know where to draw the line. Only a stable man and a stable woman is eligible for marriage. If you are yet not, seek first to be.

Do have a restful night!

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